The title of this post it kind of long, I know. It’s also pretty similar to Al Franken’s book ‘Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them’. Anyway, this post is about lyrics that may sound poetic and creative and stuff but are in fact — lies.
Mick Jagger was indeed correct when he sang ‘I’ll never be your beast of burden’. You see, only animals can be beasts of burden. To be able to give the Rolling Stones an ‘A’ the song would have to be called ‘I’ll never be your slave’. You get the idea.
Hound Dog, Elvis Presley – That person is neither a hound nor a dog.
Stairway To Heaven, Led Zeppelin – There is no stairway to heaven.
When Doves Cry, Prince – No known animals have the abillity to cry.
Every Breath You Take, The Police – Sting, you Sir, are a liar.
While My Guitar Gently Weeps, The Beatles – Only people can cry.
Purple Rain, Prince – Water have no color.
The Sounds of Silence, Simon and Garfunkel – Silence is just that – silent.
I Only Have Eyes for You, The Flamingos – No you don’t. You have eyes for everything around you.
I Can’t Stop Loving You, Ray Charles – Yes you can – and you did since you died several years ago.
Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone, The Temptations. Not just unlikely. Impossible.
Free Fallin’, Tom Petty – Tom, you might be free but you’re not falling.
Knocking on Heaven’s Door, Bob Dylan – First off, heaven has gates, not a door. Oh, and there is no gate OR door to bang on in heaven.
Sweet Child O’ Mine, Guns N’ Roses – No one in Guns had children when this song was written.
I Fall to Pieces, Patsy Cline – Patsy, you never did whilst alive. Liar.
(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher, Jackie Wilson – If you’re in love with a crane you have a big problem.
Chain of Fools, Aretha Franklin – Chains are not made out of fools.
Highway to Hell, AC/DC – You can’t drive a car to hell.
Heart of Glass, Blondie – Dear Debbie, in love with a gas? It was not a gas and it didn’t have a glass heart.
Paranoid Android, Radiohead – Androids are not that evolved yet.
You Are the Sunshine of My Life, Stevie Wonder – I know you’re blind Stevie. The sun is whats emitting sunshine.
Heart of Gold, Neil Young – Not glass, not stone, not frozen water, not gold – just meat.
Piece of My Heart, Big Brother and the Holding Company – Not possible, even if you are a donor. The whole heart or nothing at all.
Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton – No tears in heaven.
Bad Moon Rising, Creedence Clearwater Revival – The moon is neither good nor bad.
Killing Me Softly With His Song, Roberta Flack – If his knife or gun was named ‘Song’. Otherwise, a lie.
All You Need Is Love, The Beatles – And oxygen, nutrition and sleep. Ad Absurdum.
The Wind Cries Mary, Jimi Hendrix – The wind does not have vocal chords.
Tiny Dancer, Elton John – A small dancer perhaps. Tiny? Not a chance. A blatant lie.
Beast of Burden, The Rolling Stones – A person can not be a beast of burden – only animals can.
I Wanna Be Your Dog, The Stooges – Probably the drugs talking. Mr. Pop is a liar.
I Shot the Sheriff, Bob Marley and the Whailers – No you didn’t.
Standing in the Shadows of Love, The Four Tops – Love doesn… Well, you know.
Welcome to the Jungle, Guns n’ Roses – The band was not in any of the known jungles of the world when this song was written.
I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor. No you won’t. Stay alive for a really long time? Hopefully.
Running on Empty, Jackson Browne – Impossible.
It Takes A Fool To Remain Sane, The Ark. Anyone would agree – it takes a sane person to remain sane.
The Sun Always Shines On TV, A-Ha. I know for a fact that this is a blatant lie.
Ocean of Noise, Arcade Fire. Oceans are filled with water, not noise.
Jesus is my Girlfriend, Babybird. No he’s not.
Heaven is A Place on Earth, Belinda Carlisle. If heaven was real it would be up in the sky.
There you go. If you’d like to contribute to the list of lying song titles, be my guest — post them in the comments!
